“…she stopped paying close attention to his words and when at red lights, examined the rain drops spattering on the windshield so intently that she almost stared right through them. Each drop seemed stuck on the glass, until another drop landed on it and they rolled down the window together, ending in a climactic splash.”
Sara: English major/Gender and Sexuality Studies minor, working at a nonprofit that gets young women ready for and interested in running for office/maybe soon applying to grad school, writer, clarinetist.
I post and reblog: things I think are pretty, things that intrigue me, things I'm a fan of, and things I care about.
Common themes include: books, writing, movies, more books, cozy beds, breakfasts, Doctor Who, Sherlock, feminist issues, and occasional pieces of my life.
Warning: this opinion is about rape
Hello, tumblr. My name is Jack. I’m 17 years old. As you can tell by my name, I’m a guy. And last year, I was raped by my older male neighbor. I’d put my tumblr URL here, but I’ve received some disturbing and frankly borderline triggering messages in regards to my rape, so I’d rather not risk it. I hope you understand.
When I first went through my rape, all the supportive posts on tumblr about male rape victims was very comforting. I’m glad people acknowledged that guys could be raped and that they matter.
I eventually had much more bitter feelings towards these posts when I noticed a certain trend with them: almost all of them belittled female rape victims in some way.
Just because someone is talking about girls/women getting raped doesn’t mean you need to derail it with “guys get raped too!”. As long as nobody is denying that fact, it’s unnecessary. Not every conversation about rape has to include all demographics of rape victims. There can be posts about male rape victims only, and there can also be posts about female rape victims only.
It seems like people also act like female rape victims have it soooo easy and should just shut the fuck up, because male rape victims have it harder. A lot of women in my life including my friends and my sister have been raped, and it isn’t any easier for them. They still are told they deserved it, not given the legal attention they deserve, and accused of being liars and bitter sluts. That doesn’t sound easy to me. Male rape victims deal with a unique stigma as well (as in, some people don’t even believe we can get raped, which sucks) but that doesn’t mean it’s much easier for the ladies.
And another thing, why can’t tumblr have one nice photoset or post about male rape victims without some dumbass commenting “Because they’re men, nobody will care” or “This won’t get nearly as many notes as the female version”? Uh, shut the fuck up? You’re ruining the powerful message behind the post. And also, rape isn’t a fucking contest.
This not only pisses me off because I care about women and female rape victims, but it also pisses me off because I get the impression these people don’t actually give a shit about male rape victims at all. They only seem to use us as a prop in arguments to derail discussions of feminism, female victims, etc. by using a vulnerable group who has been through a horrible trauma. How sick is that?
While it’s important to spread awareness of other types of rapes besides male on female, there’s way to do so without derailing or talking over other victims.
So, as a tl;dr to this opinion: if the only time you talk about male rape victims is in some way to downplay or belittle women getting raped, then fuck you. You are a piece of shit, nothing more.
We deserve to be mentioned in our own posts rather than in derailment, and women who have been deserve a chance to talk about their experience without someone derailing saying men can get raped too when nobody was denying that fact. Fuck. You.
Also in a mixed-gender group, when women talk 25% of the time or less, it’s seen as being equally balanced. If women talk between 25% and 50% of the time, they are seen as “dominating the conversation.” One of the most mind-bending statistics I ever read in college.
This is like the cutest thing ever. It’s from the gif-set I reblogged.
Taking its first steps, and after successfully doing so, the chick goes “Yay!”
It’s so freaking cute.
I’ve never been female. But I have been black my whole life. I can perhaps offer some insight from that perspective. There are many similar social issues related to access to equal opportunity that we find in the black community, as well as the community of women in a white male dominate society…
When I look at — throughout my life — I’ve known that I wanted to do astrophysics since I was 9 years old…I got to see how the world around me reacted to my expressions of these ambitions. All I can say is, the fact that I wanted to be a scientist, an astrophysicist was hands down the path of most resistance through the forces of society.
Anytime I expressed this interest, teachers would say, ‘Oh, don’t you wanna be an athlete?’ I want to become someone that was outside of the paradigm of expectations of the people in power. Fortunately, my depth of interest of the universe was so deep and so fuel enriched that everyone of these curve balls that I was thrown, and fences built in front of me, and hills that I had to climb, I just reach for more fuel, and I just kept going.
Now, here I am, one of the most visible scientists in the land, and I wanna look behind me and say, ‘Where are the others who might have been this,’ and they’re not there! …I happened to survive and others did not simply because of forces of society that prevented it at every turn. At every turn.
…My life experience tells me that when you don’t find blacks, when you don’t find women in the sciences, I know that these forces are real, and I had to survive them in order to get where I am today.
So before we start talking about genetic differences, you gotta come up with a system where there’s equal opportunity, then we can have that conversation." —
"What’s up with chicks and science?"
Are there genetic differences between men and women, explain why more men are in science.
I hate Larry Summers sooo much. He has learned nothing.
If you don’t strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest look at your choices
I REPEAT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
"women didn’t get the right to vote till 1920"
"what do you mea—?"
Well…this is confusing. Because while there were Jim Crow laws that for sure severely curtailed black enfranchisement (and there’s clearly a resurgence of this pattern now), the 14th Amendment (which allowed black men to vote) was, pretty obviously, before the 19th Amendment (which prohibited blocking enfranchisement based on sex).
So when you’re talking about 1920 as the start of universal suffrage for all genders, you’re clearly referencing the passage of 19th Amendment, and since the 14th was already there…at least Constitutionally, all women citizens of the United States gained the right to vote in 1920.
Tons of state and local laws sought to quash that, but as you can see, they didn’t hold up to Constitutional scrutiny.
People criticizing TFIOS because Gus sounds pretentious???
that was the point???
like literally at his fake funeral his best friend talks about how fucking pretentious he is and how annoying it was???
It was one of his character flaws? He was deliberately written that way?
You’re not being clever or critical by pointing it out, you are literally stating a fact about the novel that the author deliberately wrote
When I say “boys are dumb” what I really mean is “boys have been raised in a patriarchal society that forces them into an incorrect and problematic view of masculinity that not only forces them to strip away valuable virtues from themselves, like patience and gentleness, but also forces them them to view and treat women in unhealthy ways that devalues women as people and makes them into objects purely for a man’s benefit”
but it’s a lot faster to say “boys are dumb”