“…she stopped paying close attention to his words and when at red lights, examined the rain drops spattering on the windshield so intently that she almost stared right through them. Each drop seemed stuck on the glass, until another drop landed on it and they rolled down the window together, ending in a climactic splash.”
Sara: English major/Gender and Sexuality Studies minor, working at a nonprofit that gets young women ready for and interested in running for office/maybe soon applying to grad school, writer, clarinetist.
I post and reblog: things I think are pretty, things that intrigue me, things I'm a fan of, and things I care about.
Common themes include: books, writing, movies, more books, cozy beds, breakfasts, Doctor Who, Sherlock, feminist issues, and occasional pieces of my life.
This post is eveeeeeeeerything
the worst thing about tumblr is that you read all those pro feminist/anti rape/anti misogyny posts all the time everyday and then you actually go outside and talk to a random guy and it feels like being punched in the face with a chair
The problems we have with society not believing men can be raped or that they can’t be the victim of domestic abuse are caused by the exact same misogyny that causes frighteningly frequent sexual violence against women. The root of these problems is the same.
Some people look at those statistics about female-on-male domestic abuse going unreported and say “men are disenfranchised, they need more rights.” But considering how much power men have in this society, that’s borderline delusional. My response is: “Society is unequal, we need more equality.”
As for people who say that all men are rapists, I mean, there are lots of people who say lots of weird things. Dismissing a perspective because some people who hold it are wrong about something is a pretty easy way to dismiss every perspective ever.
EDIT - Also it occurs to me that maybe you’re misinterpreting something. Is it possible that the people you’ve heard say “all men are rapists” are in fact saying “I am afraid for my safety and so I have to consider that all men are potential rapists.” That’s a very different thing, and should be considered by you (who has never seen the world from that person’s perspective) as valid and important.
Yes but enough men that every girl is terrified of smiling to that guy on the bus or talking with the boy in the coffee shop. Every girl has been walking late at night at one point and been afraid of who might be following her. Every girl has referred to someone as a “creep” and every girl has refused a drink from someone she doesn’t know.
Not all men.
But enough men that all women are now afraid of most men.
It’s gotten so bad that we have to be afraid of even telling you we are afraid. We can’t ask that you please stop talking to us. Because if we do we run the risk of being labeled a “stuck up bitch” and blamed for murders and rapes in which we are the victims.
So we speak to you with body language that we hope you’ll understand. We cross our legs and look out the window and wear giant headphones that are giant signs that subtly read “DON’T TALK TO ME!” But you insist on ignoring those signs because you have it in your head that our body language doesn’t mean anything. That our bodies aren’t our bodies.
Not all men.
You can start fucking saying that when all women can stop being afraid. But that’s not gonna happen if every man a women opens up to about this issue dismisses her by saying “Not all men.”
unofficial letter to the skeezball at work all men.
Margaret Atwood, Writing the Male Character (1982)
That is all I have to say about that. Fucking Margaret Atwood. We are so lucky to have her.(via marthaq)
#YesAllWomen is trending on Twitter right now.
This is very important.
Right now, men just need to shut up, read these and learn. We HAVE to do better.
The fact that this kid can do something like this, the fact that women aged 15-44 are more at risk from rape and domestic violence than from cancer, car accidents, war and malaria, according to World Bank data?
Up to 70 percent of women experience violence in their lifetime, according to studies conducted by the UN?
2,753 people were killed on 9/11 but every year 1.9 million women are physically assaulted in some way.
That’s fucking terrorism.
Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.
I’ve gotten more angry asks about this post than I have actual reblogs.
Warning: this opinion is about rape
Hello, tumblr. My name is Jack. I’m 17 years old. As you can tell by my name, I’m a guy. And last year, I was raped by my older male neighbor. I’d put my tumblr URL here, but I’ve received some disturbing and frankly borderline triggering messages in regards to my rape, so I’d rather not risk it. I hope you understand.
When I first went through my rape, all the supportive posts on tumblr about male rape victims was very comforting. I’m glad people acknowledged that guys could be raped and that they matter.
I eventually had much more bitter feelings towards these posts when I noticed a certain trend with them: almost all of them belittled female rape victims in some way.
Just because someone is talking about girls/women getting raped doesn’t mean you need to derail it with “guys get raped too!”. As long as nobody is denying that fact, it’s unnecessary. Not every conversation about rape has to include all demographics of rape victims. There can be posts about male rape victims only, and there can also be posts about female rape victims only.
It seems like people also act like female rape victims have it soooo easy and should just shut the fuck up, because male rape victims have it harder. A lot of women in my life including my friends and my sister have been raped, and it isn’t any easier for them. They still are told they deserved it, not given the legal attention they deserve, and accused of being liars and bitter sluts. That doesn’t sound easy to me. Male rape victims deal with a unique stigma as well (as in, some people don’t even believe we can get raped, which sucks) but that doesn’t mean it’s much easier for the ladies.
And another thing, why can’t tumblr have one nice photoset or post about male rape victims without some dumbass commenting “Because they’re men, nobody will care” or “This won’t get nearly as many notes as the female version”? Uh, shut the fuck up? You’re ruining the powerful message behind the post. And also, rape isn’t a fucking contest.
This not only pisses me off because I care about women and female rape victims, but it also pisses me off because I get the impression these people don’t actually give a shit about male rape victims at all. They only seem to use us as a prop in arguments to derail discussions of feminism, female victims, etc. by using a vulnerable group who has been through a horrible trauma. How sick is that?
While it’s important to spread awareness of other types of rapes besides male on female, there’s way to do so without derailing or talking over other victims.
So, as a tl;dr to this opinion: if the only time you talk about male rape victims is in some way to downplay or belittle women getting raped, then fuck you. You are a piece of shit, nothing more.
We deserve to be mentioned in our own posts rather than in derailment, and women who have been deserve a chance to talk about their experience without someone derailing saying men can get raped too when nobody was denying that fact. Fuck. You.