“…she stopped paying close attention to his words and when at red lights, examined the rain drops spattering on the windshield so intently that she almost stared right through them. Each drop seemed stuck on the glass, until another drop landed on it and they rolled down the window together, ending in a climactic splash.”
Sara: feminism and more.
One thing all of these groups have in common is that they are primarily populated by men who think they are not “bros.” Usually, they consider themselves intellectuals. Often, said men have a perma-vendetta against the sort of men they consider “bros.” For the most part, they’re not “alpha-males,” they weren’t jocks in high school–they were, more often, nerdy or even shy.
They are always the first to lock arms with you and rail against sexism coming from these other types of men. They are always happy to poke fun at Pat Robertson saying something horrifically misogynistic. They like to think of themselves as “the good guys” and the jocks and bros as “the bad guys.”
In some ways, these men align themselves with women. They were perhaps even picked on by the same “bro-dudes” that they believe are the sort of men that victimize women. Which is why they get all the more touchy when criticized for behaving exactly like them.
It’s like my mom said, in a way. They think they get a pass. Because they know all the progressive stuff to say, because they listen to NPR, because they didn’t join frats or play football, because they’re not “in finance.” Because they read lofty books rather than play beer pong, or whatever other idiotic stereotypes you want to throw out there.
It’s not just bros and jocks and finance dudes and yuppies and Christians and Republicans who are shitty to women. Being part of a counter-cultural or progressive community does not give you a free pass to be shitty to women without being called out on it. We need to hold our own communities to an even higher standard than we hold those in the opposition, we need to welcome criticism, and we to realize that the ones who call out shitty behavior in these communities are not the threat, but that those who protect it and shield it from criticism are.
You guys, this show is deeply disturbing and also fantastic. Look at Stella go!
This is a big win for anti-rape activists, many of whom have been touting the necessity of an “affirmative consent” standard for years. California Gov. Jerry Brown (D) has the next month to sign the bill into law. If he does, schools across the state would be required to define consent before engaging in sexual activity as an “affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement” or risk losing state financial aid funding.
on today’s episode of me having feelings, a series of tweets about “anti-rape nail polish.”
This post is eveeeeeeeerything
the worst thing about tumblr is that you read all those pro feminist/anti rape/anti misogyny posts all the time everyday and then you actually go outside and talk to a random guy and it feels like being punched in the face with a chair
The problems we have with society not believing men can be raped or that they can’t be the victim of domestic abuse are caused by the exact same misogyny that causes frighteningly frequent sexual violence against women. The root of these problems is the same.
Some people look at those statistics about female-on-male domestic abuse going unreported and say “men are disenfranchised, they need more rights.” But considering how much power men have in this society, that’s borderline delusional. My response is: “Society is unequal, we need more equality.”
As for people who say that all men are rapists, I mean, there are lots of people who say lots of weird things. Dismissing a perspective because some people who hold it are wrong about something is a pretty easy way to dismiss every perspective ever.
EDIT - Also it occurs to me that maybe you’re misinterpreting something. Is it possible that the people you’ve heard say “all men are rapists” are in fact saying “I am afraid for my safety and so I have to consider that all men are potential rapists.” That’s a very different thing, and should be considered by you (who has never seen the world from that person’s perspective) as valid and important.
Yes but enough men that every girl is terrified of smiling to that guy on the bus or talking with the boy in the coffee shop. Every girl has been walking late at night at one point and been afraid of who might be following her. Every girl has referred to someone as a “creep” and every girl has refused a drink from someone she doesn’t know.
Not all men.
But enough men that all women are now afraid of most men.
It’s gotten so bad that we have to be afraid of even telling you we are afraid. We can’t ask that you please stop talking to us. Because if we do we run the risk of being labeled a “stuck up bitch” and blamed for murders and rapes in which we are the victims.
So we speak to you with body language that we hope you’ll understand. We cross our legs and look out the window and wear giant headphones that are giant signs that subtly read “DON’T TALK TO ME!” But you insist on ignoring those signs because you have it in your head that our body language doesn’t mean anything. That our bodies aren’t our bodies.
Not all men.
You can start fucking saying that when all women can stop being afraid. But that’s not gonna happen if every man a women opens up to about this issue dismisses her by saying “Not all men.”
unofficial letter to the skeezball at work all men.
Margaret Atwood, Writing the Male Character (1982)
That is all I have to say about that. Fucking Margaret Atwood. We are so lucky to have her.(via marthaq)